by ~ Jamie Lee... Jamie's first BCSOM Post

I HATE my husband! Has anyone ever felt this way? Seriously!? Not really hate of course, but feel so turned off and put off by the man that you married that you wonder what in the world you saw in him in the first place. Wondering if you should have listened to your mother when she said he was no better than Ted Bundy was from Married with Children. Here’s how it usually plays out.

The Latest Ask Bull City Question: “I think I am ready to settle down and get married. I have a few women that I have dated in the past but none of them have come off as wife material. Am I missing something? How do you know if the woman you are dating is wife material?”

There is no clear cut way to decide if a woman is wife material, but let me see if I can metaphorically help you out. If you have ever picked out wall paper, chances are you have experienced a task that is very close to choosing a wife. Some of the papers look beautiful and classy but will make you tired after a few months. Others are too colorful, funky and more are boring and homely. When you choose wall paper you are aware of how difficult it will be to take off one day and so you want it to last. You want it to be good enough that even though it’s not necessarily permanent – it could be something that in 30 years still looks good on the bathroom walls. That would at least save you a big mess and a lot of trouble.

The latest ask Bull City Question: I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. Things are good but everytime marriage comes up he gets real sensitive and upset. Why is he afraid of commitment?

How many times have you heard a relative, friend or colleague say "Right now our relationship is great, we have a wonderful time and great sex, if we get married we'll end up just like all the other married couples?"

First let me preface what I am going to say with the fact that marriage isn’t for everyone. I remember one day when I was in college and me and my roommate that year to remain nameless was watching an episode of Donahue. (Yes, I realize I just dated myself) Anyway Phil Donahue had a group of men who had been classified as “wonderers.” A wonderer is a man who cannot be tied down to one woman and needs to be with many women to satisfy his social needs.

Extended Ask Bull City Question:

I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and 3 months. Lately…I have been suspicious that maybe he wants to cheat. One day he left his Facebook on my laptop and I thought it was mine so I checked my messages whose were really his. I found him asking an old neighborhood friend of his to grab a coffee one day and catch up. He would get so mad at me if I was thinking about doing that.

I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I went through his phone. I have read many girls from his work calling him “babe” and he replied to one calling her “sweetie”. I also caught this message by someone awhile ago and I’m not sure if he read it yet cause he never replied it said: “Hey babes, I assume you’re sleeping but I really need to talk for a second so text me when you wake up its kind of a funny story xox”

The Latest Ask Bull City Question: “My boyfriend and I are at a point where we want to be together and possibly get married. All my friends keep telling me that we should live together before we get married to make sure that we can do it. What do you think about living together before marriage?”

One of the ‘great debates’ in life comes when a couple decides to take the next big step in their relationship and move in together. The merging of household’s right down to the dishes and forks, the splitting of bills, the sharing of the bed can seem to be quite a bit like a marriage. For many people in long-term cohabitating relationships, they wonder if being married, as in saying “I do,” and placing rings on special fingers would really make any difference in the relationship. After all, isn’t a couple that is living together essentially the same as one that is married?

The Latest Ask Bull City Question: “I have this girlfriend who always seems to have a man. It doesn’t matter if she has been in a relationship, ended a relationship, or moved to a new area, she always ends up with a man. She doesn’t even go out of her way to get men and she’s nice looking but not drop dead gorgeous. What gives? Why is it so hard for some women to get a man and easy for others?”

Men have always and will always be different than women. They respond differently to situations than women, date differently, and interact totally different than women. Instead of getting pissed off and asking your friends why men do the things they do, here's a thought, why not honestly pull yourself out of what you want a guy to do and start understanding things on his terms?

The Latest Ask Bull City Question: What are some of the questions that men would love to ask women but they don't want to offend them or they just don't have the courage to ask?"

Hey Folks,

I just wanted to introduce myself. I am the "Nice Guy." You probably know me. I usually talk to you after work so you can vent and then go talk or be with the person you really want to be with. You usually tell me we need to find you a nice girl or you just completely ignore me. Well BCSOM has given me an open platform to express myself. So today I took a couple of old school songs I like that makes me think of some questions I would love to ask some women.

The Latest Ask Bull City Question: “I just watched the movie Think Like A Man and the plot of the movie was to make a man wait ninety days for sex. I just met a man that I like and I was wondering is this realistic in your opinion?”

I'll be honest, I don't know ANYONE in real life (apart from in high school) who dated for that long without having sex. And really, why is 90 days the magic number? Does that mean if you give it up after 40, 60 or 80 days, you are dooming the relationship to failure?

The Latest Ask Bull City Question: “My wife is such a moody person. One minute she is all happy and fun and the next minute no one in the room wants to be around her. Is that normal? It is really starting to affect our relationship.”

We all know them. Some of you gave birth to them, while others are married to them. You may work for one or simply live next to one. Or one of these nuisances in your life could be one of your friends. Regardless - they are annoying, frustrating and can be a burden to your own version of personal happiness.

Extended Ask Bull City Question:

Ok I met my boyfriend whom is 30 years old. He was feeling bad about his predicament and he and I talked and we both decided he should go back to his home in Michigan and take up a job offer of as Truck driver so he did, he moved in with his parents and saved money, our plan was to get an apartment in time for me to come to stay with him. So he did, he got the apartment, furnished it and has been working very long hours, his days range from 4 or 5 am – 7 pm and not walking in the door sometimes to 8 pm he is exhausted, he does this 6 times a week most weeks. He also has school online on top of that which takes about 5 hours a week online.